I've been home a couple of weeks but so stressed I am refusing to think. I still am endeavoring to get my tennis game together - after only playing 5 times in 5 months my game has gone south - need extensive reconstruction of my backhand, wondering how much is my eyesight - my right eye is no use. I should be glad I am still playing at 84.

I had an amazing summer and fall - making camps and workshops to overwhelming acclaim and building new circles in 10 countries - 4 new ones - UK, Ireland, Czech Rep. & Greece - and I finished my new book on THE JOY OF CARING FOR CHILDREN IN THE CIRCLE WAY which will be published first in Italy. It is an exciting time.

The cause of my stress is not bad, just stressful - we have been offered the opportunity to buy back the land our predecessors here had to sell on account of debt. It has been beautifully improved with a 3 story house, pond, landscaped garden, 2 car garage, gym, sauna, pottery studio, and a huge vegetable garden that could feed the ecovillage I always wanted here but had not the place for.  If we had it we could immediately begin to build that community and start up a healing, seminar, retreat center - all things I am longing to do. But neither I nor my partners here in The Nature School that owns this property know the kind of people who have money to loan or invest (we need to raise $350,000 in 2 months), so although I a sending the word out to my constituents I am not terribly hopeful that we will succeed and the land will pass over to developers who will make a lot of new upscale housing in our peaceful woods. If I knew how to use the social networks and reach out to thousands there might be a chance, because the property is worth half a million and we would be giving attractive loan rates or shares that would be secured. Of course I am telling my contacts to tell all their contacts too bad my old tennis partner Mort is not with us any more - he is one who had money and knew folks who had money, and he believed in my dream.

Well - so you see the nature of my stress. I feel obliged to work at something and am totally incompetent to do so - keeps me up nights - and to top that, Ellika is still in Copenhagen because I only came home for this and go back next month for my granddaughter's first birthday - and we will also be with our new grandson - Lucca Story Talbot - 5 month old, the  whole family together in Berlin. It does help that I talk to her every day on the phone. By the new year, when we both return until May, this will all be over and I can go back to my writing and teaching, the things I know how to do and am decent at.

- Manitonquat